Welcome back to the Saturday Success Series email!
In this edition we’ll have:
Five to Focus On: A quote, stock, book, show & a beer.
Master Yourself: How to give advice
Master Your Money: Focus on free and low cost fun
And of course…
The Weekly Special: How to Use Word Swaps to Improve Your Life
The goal here is maximum value, so let’s get to it.
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Five to Focus on:
In a noisy world, it’s hard to know what’s good out there. Let me help.
Quote to ponder: “It’s very hard to fail completely if you aim high enough.” - Larry Page
Stock to consider: MRVL (Marvell Technology)
They develop and produce semiconductors and related tech. Which is something Biden just poured billions into.
Disclaimer- this is not financial advice, I am not a financial advisor, and you should always do your own research.
Book to read: We Need to Talk by Celeste Headlee
Required reading for all humans is what comes to mind. It’s a quick read, but Celeste does a great job breaking down the why and how of better conversations. You’ll find yourself cringing at parts, when you realize you’ve been a less than stellar conversationalist.
Show to enjoy: Honor Society on Paramount+
This wasn’t anything super special, but it was entertaining. Teen angst and competition with a twist. It’s definitely not your typical teen rom-com.
Beer to sip: Soul Hunter from Toppling Goliath
Toppling Goliath does a lot of things right. This beer is another one of them, but even better than usual. For those who like a little pop in the mouth- this has that bitter bite you’ll enjoy.
Master Yourself
Just spouting off advice is easy.
Shit, we all do it, almost constantly.
But take a moment to think- most of the advice you receive is either useless or delivered poorly.
We could and should do better as people when we deliver the antidote to what ails our friends and family. Or when proposing suggestions to our co-workers and bosses.
We work daily on becoming better people. Now, be a better deliverer by using Baltasar Gracian’s advice on giving advice. Also, look up some of his other quotes…the guy was a genius.
Here’s his advice:
“When you counsel someone, you should appear to be reminding him of something he had forgotten, not of the light he was unable to see.”
This makes people feel smart. It makes them feel that they came to their own conclusion. It sits better and is more likely to be taken advice than ignored advice. It’s a gift to your listener.
Be a gift giver.
Master Your Money
Focus on free and low cost fun
Life is about experiences and relationships. Money is merely a tool, not a goal. Focus on what really matters.
You don’t need a 2,000/week vacation twice a year to live well. You don’t need 200 dollar sneakers to be happy. The biggest TV on the market won’t fill the void in you. You don’t need nearly as much as you think you do. Learn to focus on what’s important. And it’s nothing material.
With the kids we focus on movie nights at home, heading to new parks and playgrounds, board games, visiting the library, family walks, badminton and basketball games out back and eating dinner together at home.
Even with friends, invite them over for BYOB, go catch a free local concert, walk around town or do half off happy hours. The idea is to enjoy the people in your life, and you don’t need to blow wads of cash to do that.
Weekly Special
How to Use Word/Phrase Swaps to Improve Your Life
We say a lot of dumb stuff throughout the day.
It’s not entirely your fault. We’re all poorly programmed.
But it is your job to fix your programming.
You speak all wrong to yourself and others. And the way we speak to ourselves, and others, matters more than you think.
Here are some swaps to make.
Turn “Sorry” into “Thanks”
According to research, saying “thank you” instead of “sorry” makes your talks more about appreciation, which helps raise the self-esteem and happiness of those who hear your comments. This improves “thank you,” not only for you, but also for those around you.
Saying “thanks” instead of “sorry” allows you to maintain your status and the good opinion others have of you. You have the added bonus of expressing your friend or co-worker’s value, which will always make them feel better. Then they see you in a more positive light. Win/wins are good for the world.
Mind you, “sorry” needs to be said sometimes, just not nearly as much as you say it now.
When someone points something out that you were mistaken about, thank them.
When you mess up, take accountability and explain how you will fix it.
When you’re late, thank people for waiting.
When you’ve rambled on, thank people for listening.
The list goes on and on. Spend a day focusing on this and see how opportunities you get to swap. It can be a fun game.
Flip “But” into “And”
It’s more agreeable and keeps a conversation rolling. When you’re in conversation, the other person will get defensive as soon as you say “but”. It’s the metaphorical ‘other shoe’ dropping.
Find ways to say and more than you say but and watch how people respond to you. Because “but” tends to make people tune out once they realize you’re not about to tell them what they want to hear.
“But” tends to dismiss the first half of your phrase. Think about it this way, you’re hearing feedback from your boss and here are the two sentence choices:
You did a great job on that presentation last week, but you need to clean up a few areas.
You did a great job on that presentation last and I think there are just a few things to clean up.
Only the masochists are choosing phrase 1.
“Yes” becomes “No” or “No” becomes “Yes”
Maybe you’re a person who puts too much on their plate. You need to learn to say no. Your life can be consumed by others if you have no boundaries. You need to create space to accomplish what you want to do.
Or, maybe you’re someone who accomplishes very little. You need to learn to say yes. Say yes to more opportunities, to more work, to more adventures. You don’t want the regrets of a life unlived when you’re 80.
“Try” into “Do”
This is more of a mindset shift. Where you go from saying “I’ll try to learn coding in between my other responsibilities” to now saying “I’ll learn to code by using my free hours on Wednesday and Friday afternoon”.
Tony Robbins did something powerful at one of his events. A woman who said she “tried everything” to fix her marriage was asking Tony for help. Here’s what he did.
He asked the woman to try to pick up the chair she was sitting in. She turned around and picked up the chair. Duh, right?
Tony said, “No, you picked it up. I said try to pick it up.”
The woman looked wholly confused. Tony repeated himself, “Try to pick it up.” The woman just stood there, not having a clue as what to do.
Tony continued, “No, now you’re not picking it up. I said try to pick it up.” Again, she picked up the chair.
Again, Tony, said, “No, you picked up the chair. I asked you to try and pick it up. You either pick it up, you don’t pick it up, or you try to pick it up.”
“I don’t know” into “Let me find out”
“I don’t know” doesn’t give people much to work with. You look like a dud.
“Let me find out” is a whole new ballgame. It let’s them know you’re a go-to person.
When you’re offering to do something that helps someone, you say “Let me ___”. And the implication is that the sentence ends with “for you”. People like feeling like you want to help them.
Thanks for reading and if you found this valuable, please share with someone who could use it. See you next Saturday!
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