Saturday Success Series: Volume 23
Making life & money work for you.
Welcome back to the Saturday Success Series email!
In this edition we’ll have:
Five to Focus On: A quote, stock, book, show & a beer.
Master Yourself: No one really cares until…
Master Your Money: Skip the life insurance, do this instead.
And of course…
The Weekly Special: 7 Things I Learned from My 1st Year of Parenting Older Children
The goal here is maximum value, so let’s get to it.
Oh, by the way, if you’re feeling generous, please share this newsletter with a friend.
Five to Focus on:
In a noisy world, it’s hard to know what’s good out there. Let me help.
Quote to ponder: “I don’t care what anyone says. Being rich is a good thing.” - Mark Cuban
Stock to consider: EDOC (Global X Telemedicine And Digital Health)
Seeks to invest in companies positioned to benefit from further advances in the field of telemedicine and digital health. This includes companies involved in Telemedicine, Health Care Analytics, Connected Health Care Devices, and Administrative Digitization.
Disclaimer- this is not financial advice, I am not a financial advisor, and you should always do your own research.
Book to read: A World Without Email by Cal Newport
Email rules our lives and it really shouldn’t. Cal Newport has done a great job with his other work- So Good They Can’t Ignore You and Deep Work. This book isn’t as good as those, but it’s still worth a read. He provides us with 4 main tools for more productive work.
Show to enjoy: Death on the Nile on HBO Max.
It’s a movie, with an all star cast and a great plotline along with amazing views. Great for a stay at home date night.
Beer to sip: Vanilla Maris from Timber Ales
Strong cream soda vibes hit different with a 12% ABV behind them. Enjoy!
Master Yourself
You need to understand this very deeply- No one really cares what you do or why you do it.
They care how it affects them. They care about what you can do for them.
If you’re in sales (and you probably are, even if you don’t think you are) this is extra important. But it’s important in general.
Stop making it about you. What can you do for your customer, your consumers? How does your product or service help them or improve their life?
This article isn’t for me, it’s for you. This article is about you, the reader, and how it can help you. What it can do for you.
You wouldn’t care about my writing if it were made only for me. It has to be made for you. So these “lessons” or any advice I give, it’s not for me- I already know this stuff. These articles are all for you.
Master Your Money
I don’t believe in paying for life insurance.
I believe in building generational wealth.
Keep building assets (stock accounts, property, etc.), and if you die, your family will have them.
Teach your spouse and children how to invest and build wealth.
Because the truth is even if you leave your family a million dollars, if they don’t know what to do with it except spend it…they’ll end up poor anyway.
Build wealth, provide financial education.
Weekly Special:
7 Things I Learned From My First Year of Parenting Older Children
Let’s get this out of the way- kids are assholes.
No surprise there since humans can often be assholes. And kids are just little humans who haven’t learned to control themselves. So the asshole nature of humanity flows freely out of them.
I stepped into a situation where my girlfriend was a true single mother, no help, monetarily or otherwise. She knew her kids needed some “fixin”. She was far too permissive and, because she was single and (understandably) tired, she took the easy way far too often. She knows it and she’s fixing it now. She probably got tired of hearing me say “easy choices, hard life, hard choices, easy life”.
Our (I mean this collectively) children will face a harsh world that cares little for them (this has always been true for the record). They will be bullied, stressed, unsure, scared, stupid, etc. It’s our job to make sure our homes are safe, happy places for them to retreat to. But this doesn’t mean we can’t prepare them for consequences and the real world, just that we also need to make sure home is a warm and inviting place.
1/ Consistency matters more than anything else, yes even love
Nothing matters without consistency. You’ll always find yourself back at square 1 if you lack the ability to remain consistent. Empty threats, wishy-washiness on your rules, lack of boundaries…these will all set you up to fail as a parent. And set your children up to fail as adults.
Most of us don’t have a problem loving our kids, in fact, many of you will literally love your kids to death (via enabling). But a lot of us have tremendous problems with remaining consistent. When rules are broken, parents start bending instead of becoming more rigid and digging their heels in. Don’t enable poor choices and bad behavior.
2/ Your presence is the greatest present
Kids won’t remember the gifts you bought them. They’ll remember the experiences they had with you. I don’t remember too many Christmas presents, but I sure do remember our beach nights, bike rides and family football games.
Show up for your kids and their events, be present at home, have adventures, read with them, play with them, listen when they speak, make sure there are lots of positive interactions.
3/ Chores are part of being a family unit
They’re not a punishment. Kids need to learn how to be part of a family and take care of their home and belongings. Cleaning their own mess is not considered a chore by the way, that’s just bare basics. You’re not their servant, if anything they should learn to serve you. Serving others is a gift to ourselves as well as the world, so teach your children how to serve. Your good parenting is you serving them.
Chores also do not earn an allowance. On that note, neither do good grades. You don’t pay kids to be part of your family and do what needs doing or what they should be doing. Go ahead and give your (well behaved) child an allowance, but let them know it’s so they can learn how to manage money, not for doing what they should be doing.
4/ Becoming a morning person is a gift to your family
Being a morning person may help get you self-care time and getting self-care time makes you a better parent. If you can wake up an hour or two before everyone else, it gives you time to reflect, relax and enjoy your own, quiet, company.
If you can’t become a morning person, or your kids are also morning people (shiiit), then schedule in at least a few hours a week to be alone or with other adults, without children present. Your children will thank you for coming back to them refreshed.
5/ Family time should go on your schedule like a business meeting would
Your family is the most important thing on earth and you’ll never get this time back. Worry less about your other obligations and make sure your family time is sacred.
Eat as a family and make sure it’s screen free. Walk together after dinner. Have movie nights. Visit parks together and play. Read a family book together.
Ask questions like what were you proud of today, what was hard today, what are you excited for tomorrow?
Role play scenarios like what would you do if you saw one kid picking on another kid, what would you do if someone made up a rumor about you, what would you say if your teacher praised you in front of the whole class.
6/ The Ignore/Praise tactic works, most of the time
Ignore (to an extent) the bad behavior and praise the good behavior. Pretty simple, but too many parents can’t do the ignore part. Attention, even negative attention, is teaching your kids that their behavior gets results.
If you can handle the ignore part, over time, it allows children to understand what’s acceptable and what gets results is being a good person, or at least less of an asshole.
7/ You must discipline daily and without weakness
We have long confused discipline with punishment, seen it as a negative. And while it is partially punishment, the main idea of discipline is to teach. It’s our job to teach these kids how to be the best version of themselves. Kids can’t do that if we don’t have rules and a flexible framework.
By flexible framework I mean, you have your rules and what you’ll accept but you understand the need to be flexible because not every situation will fall under your framework and not every child needs the same framework. Parenting isn’t a one size fits all type of deal. My brother would listen to a stern word, I needed a smack in the mouth. My parents were quite capable of improvising based on our needs.
Discipline consistently and do not feel bad about it. It’s the greatest act of love you can provide your children.
Thanks for reading and if you found this valuable, please share with someone who could use it, see you next Saturday!